Forget Goals. Focus.

I've written about goal setting and SMART before, see here and here.

And I will concede that for a certain proportion of the population goals work. These tend to be the individuals who like to manage everything and control every variable, they follow their program precisely, write down everything they eat, and enter all their competitions a year in advance and plan to peak for every one. This is a small minority of people.

For most people goal setting obviously doesn't work, otherwise gyms wouldn't be full of people every January and February trying to lose weight for the umpteenth time after failing on every other occasion. And yes, many of these people would have written their goals down and made them time bound and all that, and it doesn't work.

So what is the alternative? And do all super successful set goals like we are lead to believe?

Why people leave gyms, why do they fail?

Straight up let me state that you don't have to join a gym to get fit or lose weight or get buff. Having said that, these are the reasons most people join gyms.

There just happens to be data that attempts to explain why people leave gyms. We can use this data from the microcosm of the gym, as it is informative in explaining why people fail to hit their goals in every day life as well.

The biggest drop out rates from gyms occur in the first 2-3 months. Bear in mind, this happens to be the 11-12% of the population that were motivated enough to go to a gym and join up in the first place.

Do you know the number one reason people say they leave gyms within 12 weeks? It is they didn't feel comfortable, ergo they were uncomfortable in the gym environment. They didn't feel they fitted in or it is where they belonged. There are a whole series of training courses now aimed at fitness professionals, they help the people in the fitness industry make these people feel comfortable.

Here's the problem though, no one whoever reached for a goal or tried something new felt comfortable. The very nature of trying new things is getting out of your comfort zone. If it was comfortable, they would still be sitting at home on the sofa eating Pringles.

To use the proverbial frog in a pot of boiling water being gently heated, they are so comfortable they don't even realise they are being cooked.

 

The second most common reason cited by people leaving gyms is they got bored. Yes, after 2 months, which for most people is 8-16 workouts they got bored. This leads to several possible conclusions:-

1. Their every day lives are so exciting the gym just can't compete. They spend their days base jumping and wrestling bears so lifting weights is boring.
2. The program they were given is boring, do 10 minutes on the treadmill followed by 10 minutes on the recline bike forever or until you pass out from boredom.
3. They're lying, they didn't enjoy the experience, it was too hard, they didn't like it or they were too far out of their comfort zone.

I think we can dismiss  conclusion number one, as statistically a large proportion of those people will spend their days in a cubicle farm working for a faceless corporation and will go home at night and watch structured reality TV shows to numb the pain of boredom.

It is a possibility they don't enjoy the gym, but that is different from being bored. Yes, working out can be hard at first and if you don't enjoy it go and do something else. That is the first point with goals, you can be so obsessed with the end result that you forget how you are going to get there. You have to engage in the day to day process. Otherwise the end result at any cost becomes overwhelming. For example, you've decided you are going to lose half a stone in time for your holiday, a set time bound goal, but along the way you slip, you found the gym 'boring' (i.e it was f**king hard and you were out of your comfort zone) and a glass of wine here and there won't hurt, will it? Then before you know it, your holiday is in a week, so you starve yourself, do whatever it takes. Bingo, you lose half a stone, you then go on holiday, binge eat and drink and put all the weight back on.

Cubicle farm - you've already bought the farm, you just don't know it yet

You met the target, you hit the goal, but you were living in the future, never focusing on the here and now of your life. You didn't enjoy the journey, because there wasn't one, just 6 months of panic.

I can't remember the third most common reason people state as to leaving gyms after 2-3 months, its probably something like they don't like the music or they are afraid of catching MRSA from the machines. In fact, all reasons should be 'I'm out of my comfort zone, and I didn't want it enough'. Maybe, some of these people leave and go and achieve their goals anyway, but the stats on obesity and fitness would suggest not.

Goals are limited.

If you set a goal you have limited yourself. I will lose this amount of weight and no more, I will run this fast but no faster, I will lift this weight but no more. A goal can become a barrier, the 4 minute mile is a case in point, most people thought it was impossible at the time, but then one man didn't, the rest is history. Of course, most of us aren't running 4 minute miles but we still limit ourselves.

To explain this I will take a few liberties with the Central Governor Model. Tim Noakes proposed the central governor model to explain why the body stops you killing yourself during exercise, the body will maintain homeostasis at all costs, so it will make you slow down running even if you have enough fuel in your muscles, are not at your VO2 max and have not recruited all your muscle fibres. Your brain tells you to stop.

To take it a step further, if you run any distance your brain has already worked out how fast you should run and what pace you should keep, hence you run faster over 100m than you do over 40k, unless you are a complete novice or idiot and have no reference point of how fast you can run.

This helps to explain why even marathon runners sprint finish when they see the finishing line. Your brain calculates that you have enough energy and enough muscle fibres to make it to the line and says 'yes, it is safe to sprint'. The runner then collapses as soon as they reach the finish line - their goal. If the finish line was 100m closer they would have collapsed then and if it was 100m further they would have collapsed then. Their brain matched their effort to the goal distance (of course, other things are at play when people do die - sudden cardiac death, over hydration etc).

Noakes has explained that this model can be used to explain other types of fatigue and motivation

"This new interpretation is the first to allow a more reasonable description of a number of phenomena that defy rational explanation according to the traditional ��limitations�� models of fatigue. These include, among many others, the chronic fatigue syndrome, in which affected individuals experience evident fatigue at rest, and the role of psychological and motivational factors, centrally (brain) acting pharmaceutical agents, hypnosis, shouting or sudden unexpected gunshots, or other forms of distraction including music or premeditated deception on human exercise performance."

To take it a step further, if you think you can only run a certain distance or lose a certain amount of weight it becomes a self fulfilling prophecy. The limitation in the brain has been set.

But don't all successful people set goals?

We've been led to believe that successful people - athletes, celebrities, business people - all set goals.

In his article Consider Not Setting Goals in 2013 Peter Bregman shoots down an urban myth.

"Like that study done on the Harvard Business School class you may have heard of, in which only 3% of the graduating students wrote down clear goals. Twenty years later, those 3% were worth 10 times the worth of the rest of the class combined. Compelling, right? It would be if it were true. But it isn't. That study doesn't exist. It's pure urban myth."

Also, I was interested to read in a recent chaos and pain article that Hugh Jackman doesn't believe in goal setting. To quote Jackman

"That's Jackman's primary driver: Instead of setting goals, seek defining moments. Those are the real tests, because you have to be willing to fail in a pressure situation in front of other people. "That fear holds all of us back," Jackman says. "And that's the toughest thing about aging. With age, you see people fail more. You see yourself fail more. How do you keep that fearlessness of a kid? You keep going"

and

 "I don't set goals in life," he says. "In this country, people are all about goal setting. And I concede, to a point, how it can help you get going. But we limit ourselves with goals. We have far more ability than we give ourselves credit for. You see that in people under pressure. How does someone run a 100-meter race at the Olympics? When it's once every 4 years, with everything they've done leading to that? It can't just be adrenaline." Then he nods and smiles. "Maybe it's just the mind getting out of the way."

(Both quotes originally appeared in mens health I think)

(You can see the full article here, but be don't go to this site if you are easily offended)

The idea of seeking defining moments is pivotal. (Not only is Jackman, 6' 3", ripped and can sing, yes Les Mis is a great film, he comes out with great quotes like this; I want to hate him, but I can't).

Next time you're in the gym, feeling strong, try that extra weight on the bar, see what happens. Out for a 30 minute run but everything is flowing, just keep going, run until you get lost. Haven't exercised for years, go for a walk, what the hell have you got to lose.

Kenyan and Ethiopian distance runners are the epitome of not limiting themselves. They all seem to think they can win, and run a 2.04 marathon, sometimes they crash and burn, but sometimes it becomes a defining moment. That's why they are so scary to run against, they have't accepted limits nearly as much as some of the European and American runners have.

So what to do? Focus of course.

Peter Bregman proposes areas of focus. Rather than focus on the outcome and the goal, focus on what you are doing here and now, the  task you are doing at this moment with no future reward in mind.  Stay in the present.

"How do you do it? It's simple: identify the things you want to spend your time doing"(Bregman)

You have to have fun and enjoy it. Bregman is focusing on business, but its even easier in training because you don't have a boss telling you what to focus on.

If you like lifting weights, lift the weights for the hell of it, focus on the perfect rep, or mastering an olympic lift. The process is important. Don't be wedded to one program or a number in your mind. Those poor saps who dropped out after 2 months, they were focused on some future reward, countless people have said to me 'I hate exercise, I hate the gym' but they feel they have to do it, they've already failed, I feel like telling them - 'go and get your money back now and leave, this wont work for you', if you don't love the process, then all you are going to do is blame the monthly cost, or the water fountain or the cleaners in the gym, because you didn't like it or it was too hard.

As I've stated before, you have to be intrinsically motivated, no one will do this for you. And if you reach some pre-determined artificial point in the future, you will feel hollow, wonder what to do and will have missed living in the present.

Stop being distracted by frivolous things, how many things can you really focus on?

To quote Pavel Tsatsouline

"Over the years people have asked me why don�t I offer motivation tips. The answer is: I have none. We are all adults here: either you have it, or you don�t."

There are no goals - go ultra.

With running its easy to get obsessed by numbers, we all have Garmins and stop watches. We can become OCD about measuring our average speeds, mileage and PBs. All the while missing what we should focus on - the joy of running.

As Peter Bregman has said in another blog 'stop focusing on your performance'.

We live in a society where everything is measured, performance evaluated, KPIs, we become goal driven. Yes, our society has benefited from the technology and the advances but in recent years it has also been our un-doing. Measure everything, then people just fix the numbers to hit the goal, because the stats are all that matters, and winning is everything and the quality is gone. And no one sticks their head above the parapet because no-one wants to be seen to be the one who fails, because you'll be the first one in the firing line when it all goes pear-shaped.

In ultrarunning the guys and gals at the front are trying to run as fast as they can, but behind them is another sub-culture. Those who are running just to run. The Caballo Blancos of this world. Run just to run. No watch, no distance in mind, they explore. Also described by Rob Schultheis in the book Bone Games, a whole group of people not entering races or thinking in terms of 50 or 100 miles, but just drawing a straight line on a map and then traversing that line for no other reason than to do it, be in the moment, the zen mind.

And at that point you've gone beyond goals, and the need for external validation and chasing some future you.

�I only went out for a walk and finally concluded to stay out till sundown, for going out, I found, was really going in.� - John Muir

If you're lucky you get to focus on what you want to do all the time. However, realistically with financial needs and family responsibilities you may have to devote a large chunk of your time to something you don't like that much to make ends meet. In which case, for f**ks sake do not waste your precious spare time on things you hate or are not engaged with, focus on things you actually want to do and don't blame anyone else if your don't.

Forget goals. Relax, let it go and immerse yourself. Enjoy.

Don't get distracted by looking too far down the road. Focus on where you are now.

References
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Central_governor
http://blogs.hbr.org/bregman/2013/01/stop-focusing-on-your-performa.html
http://blogs.hbr.org/bregman/2012/12/consider-not-setting-goals-in.html
http://www.strongfirst.com/blog/be-a-man-among-men/
 http://lostinfitness.blogspot.co.uk/2011/09/evening-with-caballo-blanco-you-know.html
Zimmerman, Mike.  The Hugh Jackman Workout: The X-Factor.  Men's Health.  2006.  Web.  23 Jan 2013.  http://www.menshealth.com/celebrity-fitness/hugh-jackman-workout

Are SMART Goals Dumb?

Ok, first things first, the title of this is a deliberate juxtaposition of the words smart and dumb, what a cheap trick. Now back to SMART goals.

The chances are if you have ever had to set a goal, been in a gym, attended a fitness course or a business course, someone somewhere has mentioned SMART goals at some point. It has almost become a mantra in any discussion of goal setting, the phrase 'goal setting' and 'SMART' have become inextricably linked.

But what if SMART goals don't work, what if people use them all the time but still fail? Why do they fail? And then why do people who have consistently failed to achieve a goal then have spectacular success, like in the case of the TV programme The Biggest Loser? And what do elite athletes do differently to achieve their goals?

I've spoken to hundreds and now I think about it maybe even thousands of people about their goals. I ask people on a daily basis what their goals are and what they want to achieve. Some people have a clear idea, some people have a more nebulous idea. In discussion I help them to formulate and shape a goal, and in many cases we the write the goal down, make it time limited, discuss possible barriers and come up with a statement like 'It is now the (insert date) and I now weigh 5kg less, I am able to fit into my dress/jeans/ suit etc and I feel confident and energised', and then there will be the specific plan 'to achieve my goals I will train x per week, and follow this nutrition plan & eat this etc etc'. And then they sign and date their goals, and take a copy to put on the fridge, and in most cases they then fail.

They come back, we re-evaluate, look for solutions, and then I never seem them again. Its a familiar story in gyms all over the world.

If I'm being generous to myself, maybe 10% achieve their goal, but in reality it's probably closer to 1%.

And they are not alone, I can't tell you how many goals I wrote down and then failed to achieve my goals, and I used the SMART structure and followed what the gurus said, and made them public and all of that and still didn't get anywhere. And then other times, I didn't even write the goals down, didn't follow any type of goal setting plan and achieved them. I achieved them because I internalised them, and the completion of them meant so much to me at that particular time that I just did it. Some of the goals were fitness ones, some weren't.

Before we get on to the specifics of how to break out from the mundane SMART formula, lets review SMART goals for anyone who has been living under a rock.

Specific

This is self explanatory, the goal has to be specific for you to know how you are going to get to it. It has to be quantifiable. Or does it? Recently, I decided to do the 21 day squat challenge as outlined by Nick Horton here, for no other reason than to do it.

The idea of squatting every day for 21 days is specific, but note, I never actually wrote down the exact routine I was going to do everyday. In fact, I didn't write it down at all. In my mind I had my own personal idea what would constitute me completing the challenge, a threshold that had to be crossed for it to be meaningful. For example, cranking out a few bodyweight squats was not going to be acceptable, but also I knew I wasn't going to squat my 1 rep max every day. There was an inherent flexibility in my plan, but I had a concrete idea of what I considered a challenge, and what I thought was not a challenge. I posted on twitter everyday what squats I had done, so I had made it public, but I knew I was going to finish the challenge regardless. How did I know? Well I just knew, because I actually wanted to do it, even when I was fatigued and my hip flexors & lower back hurt.

This is also what I'm going to call a process goal. The goal was a means to itself, I had no aim to increase my 1 rep max squat to a certain number, so it was both specific and flexible. Many of the goals that beginners set in the gym or on a fitness regime are often process ones, the goals might be to go the gym twice a week or 'workout' three times a week. These are specific, but in most cases they don't get to the crux of why most people are training - normally to lose weight, and get buff. They may achieve their process goal, but their secret hidden goal remains elusive.

Measurable

This is straight forward, you either lost 5kg or you didn't. You either hit that sales target or you didn't. However, the numbers people choose often have underlying influences. For example, in business, managers are notorious for setting target that may be too high to avoid bonuses and people on the ground floor get wise. They look at what is actually achievable and minus off 10% to guarantee hitting what they are measured on.

In weight loss, the most common phrase I hear is 'I want to lose a stone'. Note, this number has no basis in reality, a woman could weigh 18 stone and she will tell me that, or she could weight 9 stone and she will tell me that. The goal post always move. In the UK, the 'losing a stone' statement is like a magic phrase people utter, sometimes its half a stone, but mostly the former. I imagine in countries where they don't use this form of measurement, the number chosen is equally as random, in the USA could it be 'lose 10 pounds' or in Europe 'lose 5kg', and the person who weighs 70kg wants to be 65kg, and the person who weighs 60kg wants to be 55kg. Chasing numbers, measurable for sure, but are they actually what you want or culturally ingrained?

Attainable/ Achievable

This is a tricky one. Setting an attainable goal is easy, for example, back to 'training in the gym twice a week', this is attainable for nearly everyone, and if it isn't I don't know what to say, except you're lying. It is achievable. but is it meaningful? Setting goals you can easily knock down is easy, but that twice a week in the gym isn't even meeting the basic government guidelines on what you should be doing activity- wise, the chances of any type of fitness improvement are low, and with no other changes, weight loss isn't going to happen. So unless this goal is a stepping stone to bigger goals, it can be worthless.

Also, how about a goal that is going to stretch you. When Reinhold Messner decided to climb Everest without supplemental oxygen and then every peak over 8000m, did he sit down and think if this was achievable or attainable or realistic (in fairness, he probably did, see the section on the elite mindset later) .Now I'm not suggesting, we all have to go and make history, but have some cojones, stretch yourself.

Relevant/ Realistic

Just in case you were going to set a goal that wasn't relevant. This mainly applies to business and the workplace, where setting a goal that doesn't gel with your company needs seems odd to managers. Often times, the word 'realistic' and 'achievable' are used in the SMART acronym, which is tautological.

Reinhold: I'm off to climb Everest without oxygen
Boss: How is this relevant to the MacGuffin account
Reinhold: Catch my fist pen pusher, I'm off to find the yeti

Using my 21 day squat goal, was it really relevant to anything, rather than me wanting to see if I could do it, and get a minor insight into Bulgarian training.

For realistic, see above, realistic may not be worthwhile.

Time -bound

Seems obvious. The time frame chosen is the important thing, I commit to losing 2 pounds of weight over the next... 2 years. In discussion unless people have a particular event they are aiming for, for example, weight loss for a wedding, they are loathed to be measured. They want to lose half a stone, but they don't want you to judge them in 8 weeks time if they haven't done it.

Sometimes, other words are used in the SMART acronym, or additional words are added to make it SMARTER, like energised, re-evaluate etc. But, in a nutshell that's your smart goal. And in most cases, people will nod their head, write it all down, and then go away and fail, and the main reason is...

The Comfort Zone

In the words of Dr Sheldon Cooper

"It's called the comfort zone for a reason."

Dr Sheldon Cooper - he's smarter than you

  The comfort zone is so powerful that many people would rather die than leave it. Exercise referral/ GP referral clients are the classic example of this. A GP or doctor has specifically prescribed exercise for them to do, it could be because of hypertension or type 2 diabetes or a whole plethora of conditions. And in some cases they take up exercise, but in many cases they don't. Even in the case of cardiac artery bypass graft surgery, some people do not modify their lifestyle afterwards. A close encounter with death and fear of dying is still not enough to push some people out of their comfort zone, the pain of change is too much. Now, of course, there can be deep psychological reasons for this, or in some cases some people just hate their life or they think its too late. And in many of these cases, psychological counselling would be more beneficial than a prescription for exercise. However, everyone has free will, and in most of these cases in the Western world people made the choices themselves, they chose they path they are on in terms of health. Yes, there are certain things you can't control, the global economy, your company going bankrupt, but going for a 20 minute walk is not one of these.

How to break out of the comfort zone

The chances are you could do it, if you wanted to. John Broz - an American Olympic lifting coach, once said that if someone held a gun to the head of a member of your family, and said you had to squat a certain amount of weight before a certain date, you would probably squat more than once a week. Now, even though this quote was really in relation to squat frequency, the premise hold true (unless you hate all your relatives!). If someone, held a gun to you or a member of your family and said you had to achieve a certain goal, you'd probably give it a good shot (pardon the pun). In the case of many of the exercise referral clients who fail to exercise, they just haven't realised yet that the gun is being held to their head, the idea of death is still not tangible enough for them to act.

And in real life, no one is holding that gun to your head. You have to hold that gun to your own head (metaphorically my friends), because as I've stated before, if you don't lose a stone or run a marathon or write a book, no one else cares. No one is waiting for you to do it.

To quote John Broz

"How you feel is a lie."

 He was talking about physically, but lets look at that in a psychological sense. Your inner voice is very persuasive, you will tell yourself all sorts of things to maintain the status quo, to stay in the comfort zone. And in many cases, other people will try and sabotage your success, they want you to be like them, in the comfort. Don't listen.

Fear

To get out of the comfort zone you either need to have something that pushes you out of the comfort zone, or pulls you out of the comfort zone. An internal force like a brush with death can push you out of it, or in fitness an external event can pull you out.

Entering an event may help to pull you out, but it has to be at the right level. If you've never run before, entering a local 5k might be enough, but in most cases I would suggest it's not. You probably already know you can complete 5k, you could power walk it right now (if you want to run it in14 minutes, that's a different matter). Also, the financial out lay is not high, on the day of the race, its easy to roll over in bed, you've only lost the �10 entry fee and you can tell all your friends you had an injury.

You need to raise the stakes, enter a competition where you have to stand on stage in a bikini might create enough of a fear factor for to push away that pint of pimms and family pack of pringles. Plus the financial outlay of booking hotels, buying bikini, dresses, fake tan means you have invested more in it financially. I have seen this first hand, my girlfriend lost over 20 kg, trained and entered a figure competition, placed 2nd in the fitness testing and 6th overall out of 45 people. Fear of standing on stage in a bikini is a powerful motivator.

Some ultra-runs are very expensive, the multi day desert ones can cost $3000. The financial outlay, might be enough to make you go out on the weekend for your back to back runs. If you are a millionaire, it might not be.

The first ultra-run I entered, my training was driven by fear, not by financial cost. Firstly, I didn't want to let the team down, I didn't want to fail and not complete it. I didn't need to write the goal down, or put it on my fridge or write it in SMART format. I had internalised it, I got up everyday and thought about it.

Flip the switch

To use The Biggest Loser TV show as an example: The contestants on this show are normally the epitome of the person who sets goals and fails, and then suddenly they have spectacular success. This could be due to several things, firstly, something is suddenly switched in their brain, 'I need to do this or I will die', faced with their own mortality they are pushed out of their comfort zone. Then, the actual environment they are in is controlled, set exercise times, controlled food and support; they are physically removed from their comfort zone and it is hard for them to go back. Then, of course, they are on national TV, so any failure will be amplified and lastly, there is an external motivator of some prize money pulling them. Also, there is a support network around them, however sadistic it may seem, they are supported every step of the way.

Some goals are driven by replacement. There are plenty of example of ultrarunners who are ex-alcoholics or ex-addicts. Some say they replaced one addiction with another. Same with figure athletes, at a recent competition, I lost count of the number of women who had an eating disorder when they were younger and replaced it with the obsession of healthy eating. The switch flipped from an unhealthy lifestyle to an obessesion with an uber healthy one. And you know what, who cares. If someone has changed their life and moved in a more positive direction, then this is only a good thing. Anyone who steps outside the 'norms' of our mediocre media society is seen as strange. Not being like everyone else can only be a good thing (within the limits of the law of course!)

Sometimes you just have to do it. When I started writing this blog, I just did it one day. And though I need to write more, and the process of writing can sometimes be hard, I do it because I want to, because I enjoy it.

Learn from the elites

In a study by Connaughton et al (2008) the researchers interviewed elite athletes, some of which had competed at the Olympic level. Some common themes and attributes emerged. They were:-

1. Having an unshakable self-belief in your ability to achieve your competition goals
2. Having an unshakable self-belief that you possess unique qualities and abilities that make you better than your opponents
3. Having an insatiable desire and internalised motives to succeed

                                                                (Connaughton et al, 2008:86)

This is the mindset you have to develop. Also notice, that initially motives are internalised, way before sponsorship deals and salaries. Of course, they may have a 'talent' to begin with, but numerous people have had the talent but failed because of mindset.

The elites cited the underlying mechanism to initially be parents (and note, the ones with pushy parents weren't the ones who succeeded) and then coaches and social support. As the old adage says, you become like the people you surround yourself with. Negative people will affect your mindset. Also, note that negativity is not the same as as constructive criticism and coaching. If you don't have this support network, then you have to motivate yourself internally.

The study also shows that elites feel pain when they push themselves to win, the same as everyone else, and they have failure and setbacks like everyone else. The important thing is the mindset, to paraphrase one of the elite athletes interviewed, you can be last in the field, but you still have to believe that you can win. And if you don't win, you look at what you could've done better, and what you need to improve on, while still holding the belief that you are unbeatable.

Just do it - the cliche

Sometimes, the only way to get out of your comfort zone, is to burn all the bridges. To make returning back impossible. To forge ahead becomes the only possibility open to you. Narrow your options down, until the path is clear. And if you don't know how to do this, get help doing it, but realise you are a grown adult, responsible for your actions. Only you can take the leap.

Burn your bridges if you have to, but only you can build your path

Ultimately, it doesn't matter if you didn't use the SMART format to write your goal, it doesn't matter if you didn't write it down or if you didn't tell anyone. You carry the goal within you, only you know whether you succeeded or if it was worthwhile.

So book that photo shoot in 2 months time, enter that ultra marathon or throw your TV away. Take that first step, do whatever it takes. No one will do it for you.


�If you're going to try, go all the way. Otherwise, don't even start. This could mean losing girlfriends, wives, relatives and maybe even your mind. It could mean not eating for three or four days. It could mean freezing on a park bench. It could mean jail. It could mean derision. It could mean mockery--isolation. Isolation is the gift. All the others are a test of your endurance, of how much you really want to do it. And, you'll do it, despite rejection and the worst odds. And it will be better than anything else you can imagine. If you're going to try, go all the way. There is no other feeling like that. You will be alone with the gods, and the nights will flame with fire. You will ride life straight to perfect laughter. It's the only good fight there is.�
? Charles Bukowski

Motivational picture: Andreia Brazier. Picture chosen by my girlfriend, this is what the figure athletes aspire to these days.

References

Connaughton, Wadey, Hanton & Jones (2008) The development and maintenance of mental toughness: Perception of elite performers. Journal of Sports Sciences. 26(1): 83-95

Another Lost Year -this time it's gonna be different - not the usual goal setting article

National Lampoon Christmas Vacation: Cousin Eddie 'That's the gift that keeps on giving the whole year'

3am and all the wasted decades and lost years are right there in the darkness. Deep inside your limbic system the fear kicks in, the fear of all the things you�ve never done. The silence amplifies the failures. The heart rate kicks up a notch and the sweat is cold, another wasted dream half remembered.

Write your goals down and then burn the paper, watch it burn, watch the ashes scatter. You�ve written down so many goals, missed them so many times, had too many fresh starts, until the act of setting them and writing them becomes meaningless. Put that list next to your lottery ticket and then burn that too.

In conversation with your friends, you realised they�ve �settled�, it�s over for them, they gave up half way through the game. You ask them what their plans and goals are for the following year, they answers �you know, keep on plodding on� �try to keep my job� �keep up the payments�. The formula answer was set long before they used it, they just joined the queue.

There�s a question you remember asking, but you don�t remember what it was. Somewhere in childhood, the fear came flooding in, and the person you are was set before you even knew who you wanted to be. The dreams became lost, and the memory is fuzzy, you can remember having those dreams but you can�t remember what they were.

Everyone took a piece: your parents, your teachers and friends you lost along the way. And you spend a lifetime trying to put that puzzle back together. Trying to figure out what you want and who you should be. What were you going to do before you tried to be just like everyone else, to fit in, to make your parents proud, not stand out in the crowd.

The fundamental question

�Who am I?�

The question you need to answer before you can set any goals. The question that determines the path. But no one even told you about the question, let alone the answer. All the books and psychics and tarot card reading mystics can�t answer that question for you.

In the endless snow it�s easy to lose track of yourself.

But the answer is right there, you�ve always had it, always known it, but it got lost somewhere between childhood and the life you settled for.

Sometimes the answer is right there, close, glimpsed through a crack in the curtains. In the forest running at night the answer is there, mountain top sun up, the answer is there, 3am the answer it's trying to break through. Washing up the answer is there. The mundane day to day drudgery, the answer is there, breathe in, breathe out, the answer is there.

You know exactly what to do, right there in the darkness, close to the truth of who you should be, the mystery solved. And then 3am turns to 4am and daylight dissolves all those dreams, and you�re back at the start again.

Desolation days. Endless trains, everyone sits in silence and quietly dies, outside the countryside and the towns rush by. Like a film you once watched on a Sunday afternoon.

How many lost years? How many you got left? When you gonna stop playing the part someone else wrote for you?

The time of death is uncertain. But the warm glow of the comfort zone keeps you on the same path you wrote for yourself along time ago. Everything dies,except the things that were never born. That can be hard to grasp, sometimes it takes a life time or two.

Fear keeps you here, keeps you safe, makes sure you never make a mistake or fail because you never push yourself.  That warm fire of comfort will burn you alive and you wont even notice.

The constant loop of �what could have beens�. What if I had said that, what if I had done that, what if I had risked everything, what if I had spoken to that girl/boy, what if I said how I really felt. How many people put it on the line? The real conversation is always happening in the spaces in between.

Lost moments. That girl you walked past in the street, you turned around, she turned around, then you walked on, may be she was the one, you�ll never know, you�ll never see her again. That marathon you were going to run, you bought the trainers but never entered it, didn�t have time to train. Line up the excuses like dominoes. That time you were going to speak up at work, you kept your head down, you blew it. These moments will haunt you.

The conventions made it so, keep your head down, get a good job,buy this, buy that, learn to die quietly inside. Walk along a crowded street, there a million lost dreams and failed goals walking right past you, the paranoia is palpable. Keep your head down and consume and conform.

Alcohol, drugs, shopping, food, therapy and constant media flow help to dull the pain. And you think you�re doing okay, and then the past walks right by you in the street and waves at you, and you realise you never got over it, the past is dragging behind you. All the faded memories and false hopes are there again. Let them go, the past and future are one and the same.

This is the wealthiest society the world has ever seen, and yet rates of depression and anxiety are sky high. Why is that? What if you�re not special, what if you�re just another cog in the machine, grinding away, what then.? Is it something peculiar about our society that instills the idea that you can be anything, achieve anything, be anything, that everyone is talented. What if that�s not the case, what if most of us are worker drones, then what?

Somewhere, someone just got blown apart or vaporised by a computerised bomb or wasted away from a run of the mill disease, probably while you were doing your weekly shop or sitting in traffic. Life is cheap in some places. That�s why you need to live it.

In hospitals you can feel the years passing you by, death is close by. But still you stay in your comfort zone. The fear of failure and fear of the unknown trumps the fear of death. People would rather die than break out.

Life is a series of connections. There are billions of people you will never meet, an infinite number of things you will never know. Somehow, you weave a thread through life, and connections are made and connections are lost. And you look for patterns, and they only become apparent after the fact. Were they always there, or did you project them on events afterwards.

Synchronicity

All the people you ever met, all the people you are ever going to meet, all the places you are ever going to go. Every so often lifelines intersect and it seems right.

Don�t get caught up in thoughts of destiny. Live your life.

You could write your goals down, and make them achievable and realistic, make them public, and then break them down into manageable bit size chunks, and visualise and really believe. And it doesn�t mean a thing.

Unless you actually do something, you might as well burn that paper and go sit back in your cubicle and read 'the secret and wait for someone to rescue you.

You need to actually go out and run those first steps, or start writing that book or go and tell that girl how you feel. Otherwise, you�re gonna die with all those �what could have beens� eating away at you.

There will be times when you are tired and depressed and feel alone. Push on. Mediocrity is a swamp that most people will fall into. Run for your fucking life. This is it. There is only your mind and body, refine them as best as you can. Live a life that is authentic to you. Moment to moment, there is only now. Nihilism is not the intention.

Someone I vaguely knew died. Didn't drink, didn't smoke, trained everyday, and then fell over and died, as prosaic and pointless as that. So why live a healthy life, if death can take you at any time. The point is he lived the life he wanted to, lived authentically. Was the person he wanted to be. There is no other way. Strengthen the body and the mind.

If the mythical teacher or mentor doesn�t arrive, then what? Keep going, do the best you can. No one is going to save you or do it for you. There is no success or failure.

Define yourself by your actions. There is only action and non action, there is a time for both.

The flashbacks and attachments are mere illusion. You don�t have to be the person that was set all those years before. Be who you want to be. Make meaningful connections with people who seem meaningful to you.

Move on, cause moving backward ain�t no move at all.

Fitness goals are some of the easiest ones to achieve. They don�t rely on other people, no one has the power to give you fitness like someone can give you a job or a book deal or make your film. You decide whether to achieve them or not. Simple as that. Fitness goals are easy to measure, you either got stronger or didn�t, you either lost weight or you didn�t. All the information you need to achieve fitness goals is already out there. A moderate effort and you will be able to obtain most of them (unless your goal is the Olympics). Train, rest, eat right, be consistent. The downside,, no one to blame when you fail. No buck to pass. Fitness goals are one of the few things in life that are black and white.

Guide to achieving goals:
1.    wake up
2.    decide what you want to do
3.    do it!

What's it gonna be, another year in suspended animation? Or push past the edges into the wilderness, into the unknown.

Happy New Year and thanks for reading.

"The future is unwritten." - Joe Strummer

Here's a clip from The Wire, the greatest TV show of all time, Lester Freamon says it all.



"If you're going to try, go all the way. Otherwise, don't even start. This could mean losing girlfriends, wives, relatives and maybe even your mind. It could mean not eating for three or four days. It could mean freezing on a park bench. It could mean jail. It could mean derision. It could mean mockery--isolation. Isolation is the gift. All the others are a test of your endurance, of how much you really want to do it. And, you'll do it, despite rejection and the worst odds. And it will be better than anything else you can imagine. If you're going to try, go all the way. There is no other feeling like that. You will be alone with the gods, and the nights will flame with fire. You will ride life straight to perfect laughter. It's the only good fight there is."
� Charles Bukowski (Factotum)

"We keep passing unseen through little moments of other people's lives." - Robert M Pirsig


"To live only for some future goal is shallow. It's the sides of the mountain that sustain life, not the top."
- Robert M Pirsig